Where is God? Is he up in the sky, sitting on a throne, waiting for our arrival? Is he a she, having a big laugh about our macho look on life? We’ve had many descriptions given to us from our religious leaders. Have they met God? And what’s this business about being separated from the one element in the Cosmos that loves us most? In the final segment of Sides of Oneness we have a look at the other side of the veil.
Expansion is not an outward movement. It is a realization within. It is touching your destiny.
Use your awareness to see these things, these forms and urges. If you catch yourself slipping under the mind’s spell, realize that in the catching you have regained your awareness. Recognize the way the mind wants you to go. Now choose the other direction. When you see the mind pulling one way, you go the other. If it pulls you to think about something, let go of that and flow. If it urges you to move outward from your point of awareness, go even more deeply within. That tiny point of you, your essential conscious being, is your destiny. It is where you came from, where you are going, and how you get there!
To summarize: Choose an intention in your awareness. Feel your mind and emotions together. Then let go just a little. Notice a slight expansion of consciousness within yourself. Not fixing on any objects or forms, feel the flow of awareness around you. Finally, join the flow, the feeling of destiny.
“But what is it, this awareness? How do I go into it?”
By realizing you already are into it. This is fundamental, primordial realization. It is a metaphor to say you are going within it. That’s what it appears like from your conditioned thinking. What you’re really doing is opening the way—a worm-hole if you will. The consciousness is filling the space of itself. It is the space. It is the opening. You are just realizing what you already are and have always been. It seems new; and yet it seems old at the same time. You are falling into it and having it emerge out of you, and around you.
What is this awareness? I’ve told you many times before. It is Source, Life, Conscious Evolution. Accept it now. Just when you feel it, accept it. Feel the livingness of its presence. Don’t try to grab onto it. That won’t work. Life will not be sustained by grasping. That is what the mind tries to do. Life is ever changing, flowing, and formless. There is nothing to grab onto, label or define. If you would know God, this is it. Un-define your God! It is as illusive and ever-present as any paradox. It is right there, right here, and it is nowhere at all.
“I am aware! That’s what I am. That’s what God is—I am the I am! I get it—the part that is aware. I always thought that phrase made no sense. But it does now.”
That is, of course, what the voice told Moses from the burning bush. It goes on to say, ‘Tell them I am has sent you.’ This voice from the light, that sends us forth into the world, is the path of awakening. This is the way you will go spontaneously in the near future. You will need no technique or explanation. It will be borne up in you from the genetic molecules themselves. Divine connection will never be a question again. Separation from Source will be but an unpleasant, though laughable, memory.
As for your present time, you will continue for a while longer to endure the cycles of feeling lost and found. The essence of the problem is being stuck in your mind most of the time, unable to feel more deeply when you want to. It is the mind that cannot understand the inner connection. That mind is the instrument specifically evolved for this. Its whole existence has been predicated on disconnection from Source. The ego arose in this environment and began to generate defensive and fearful feelings, doubts and barricades against freedom and truth; hence, your current dilemma.
“I am in fact beginning to feel changes in myself. As I follow your exercises and suggestions, I’m catching glimpses of something I hadn’t noticed before. And yet it was always there. I just overlooked it until now. It’s very subtle—mostly beneath my senses. I don’t necessarily see it as God, but it might be. Who knows? Well, perhaps you do. Whatever it is, it’s extremely pure and simple, like the kernel inside the seed of awareness. It most certainly has a life and an identity of its own.”
The Life it has is the Life you have, seen from the reflection-self of personality and mind. But it is your animating force. You know it by sensing with it, by using it to be conscious. The fact that you see it as separate from you is only a trick of mirrors.
“Yes. I’ve been tricking myself with my mind. It’s about feeling more than thinking. I’ve heard it all before. But I’ve never really accepted it. I’m seeing now that real acceptance involves sensation. That is what you’ve been calling appreciation, I think.
Indeed. So, what else are you feeling?
“Well, I ask myself, what does it really mean to have God inside me? If I pray to God I must be praying into myself, and not to some outside, ascendant being. I turn my prayers, my attention, toward that inner space you’ve been harping on all along. But isn’t this just talking to myself? It turns my idea of prayer inside-out. My thoughts then are praying to my awareness. Something in me must now be willing to respond to my own request—even as I ask it. But that doesn’t feel right. That would mean I’ve divided myself in two. How can I answer my own prayers? Help me, O.”
This is the paradox that you will resolve as you evolve, as you make the genetic shift. Do not dwell on that split; it is only a passing phenomenon, a reminder of the illusion. The one to whom you pray, is the real you. Your understanding will move from the mind into the deeper appreciation, and there will be no division. The point-of-you will take over the reins. Prayer will become simple manifestation of destiny, and the honoring of your oneness with the will of divinity.
“I still have so many questions. I have to resolve the challenge of what it means to walk around with God inside me, as me, interacting with the world. Am I truly creating it all as I go? Am I omniscient? Does my awareness grow or shrink as it goes down inside? Does expansion have any meaning in this context? Of course, how is the meaning of me changed by these realizations?
“Now, let me revert to the fear I started with. Am I really connected to something greater than myself? What if this sense of God is just one little private opinion inside a meaningless little creature, called me? Will any bit of it continue after I die? Has my life experience contributed to anything beyond myself? What if there’s no such thing as beyond or within?”
You cannot know the answers to these questions in your mind. The mind will debate these issues forever, with answers of yes, no and maybe, over and over. Your doubts and fears will arise and then subside, and then come back again. The only way to interrupt this hopeless cycle is to remove the ego, the fear monger, from a position of control over your consciousness. This means removing yourself from your mind. Go out of your mind. Know that this is your situation. This is your business. Do not despair, simply ride through it. Change is coming—and that change is you!