If there is a vibratory state that pulses from the formless, no-thing-ness, into the multi-dimensional formed every-thing-ness then at what point does it animate our physical form to life. I have recently been feeling the resonance surrounding my physical heart and believe that this pulse or tingle that I feel is the electrical charge that animates all that exists within this body. It has been kind enough to let me enter its subtle world and perceive visions from other dimensions that I have been previously excluded from seeing. Perhaps it was my lack of focus on the subtle realms that has kept my unconscious mind from seeing through the mist, I don’t know. Now that I am privy to some of these goings-on I realize that this is the way it is. Consciousness has provided itself with a host of forms to experience itself and we, the forms, have provided consciousness a myriad of stages to view these performances.
Realizing this might be the next step of human transformation, for it allows us to be exactly who we came to this earth to be. Becoming the observer, in order to make the experience more fulfilling, takes us to the next stage in evolving, from this mind in residence to this heart in resonance. The story changes when the heart takes over.
Recently Judy Welder posed an interesting question to Robert, and knowing that Robert always dives down into that deep space before responding, I thought it important to post it here. It helps continue the conversation we are all having with each other about our place in this divine lila.
“What do you want, Robert?” (A question from Judy Welder)
OK, Judy. I’ll go with this…
What if I wanted to stop wanting? I mean it. Not in a helpless, ‘I give up’ kind of way, but in an expansive, transparent, transcendent way. What if there is a part of me, deep down inside—beyond desire—that is more like instinct, that simply moves consciousness into our awareness directly, not through the traditional, slow, human processes of thinking, feeling, sensing, acting and reacting?
What if that deep part of me is actually the same in each and every molecule and speck of matter and spirit throughout the cosmos? What if all those specks, including the ones that make up ‘my awareness’ are actually just the one and only speck, so tiny and so enormous that there is no form or space or time that it does not inhabit?
What do I want then? What could I want? What is available to want in such a universe?
I could want anything at all, anything I could imagine. But I would not be ‘just me’ anymore. I would be so interconnected with all things and non-things that each desire I might have would instantly take stock of all desires in the universe simultaneously, with no passage of time, no differentiation in space, no location at all in fact. There would be no need for movement, no need for distance, no past or future. Just Now!
But still I must ask—assuming there still is an ‘I’ in this picture—what would I want?
I might still want growth, as you have decided. What would growth be like in such a universe? It might be like an ever-expanding and (simultaneously) shrinking, dimensionless field of consciousness. All forms would be available to it instantaneously in total freedom. My own form would be available to it. Your form would also be available, and so would everyone else’s forms, every-thing-else’s forms. This sounds like one definition of God to me.
Pause: I have recently come to the appreciation that ‘awareness’ is seeking ‘consciousness’ in this universe. We produce the awareness; it is what we grow and expand upon. It is what we use to sense and understand and explore with. What we are exploring is, in fact, consciousness. It exists a priori—both within us and around of us. It is our polar attractor. We cannot exist without it. But—in the ‘game of time’—we cannot have consciousness. We can only want to have it. That is what expanding our personal awareness (and wants) is all about. Total awakening, then, would be a merger and fusion of awareness with consciousness. Unpause.
Therefore, given a reality in which I am a ‘consciousness speck’ in that kind of cosmos, I would want to be aware of my consciousness. I would want consciousness to meet and merge with my individuated awareness. I would want to move my intelligence amalgamation in the direction of omniscience, all-knowingness. That would look—in the ‘time game’—like expansion or growth, I suppose. In time, my speck of awareness would gaze up-out-in at the universal consciousness and ask for ever more inclusion in its awareness (whatever that might be, in distinction from its ‘consciousness’).
So, for now, I guess that’s what I want. I do in fact want that. I want to be increasingly (growthingly) included in the universal, divine, non-separative, transcendent consciousness and awareness. I want that inclusion to mean that my personal ‘molecule’ of selfhood—my persona—would know, more and more, what it is like to be whole, without fear or loss or pain or want. Want? I am back to my original proposition.
I want to stop wanting.
I don’t know, Judy. I want ‘wanting’ to be a useful process. I don’t want it to dominate my awareness though. I want ‘wanting’ to produce growth in my awareness and awakening. I want it to produce an eventual diminishment of itself, however—to run itself through the thing I call my awareness, my life, and ultimately be exhausted and emptied out. I do not want this to be ‘accomplished’ through achievement. I don’t want wanting to produce some ultimate state of having all things, all experiences, all knowing, tied up into a great ball of accumulated products of wanting.
What do I want? Perhaps, for a time, I do want to want. In that case, I want this thing and that thing, this person and that person. I do not want that thing, not this thing, not that person. I want to differentiate, to discern and to have preferences.
In the spirit of respect for my/our own deep consciousness, I will participate in this ‘game of thrones’, this game of wanting. But I will not do it blindly, believing that my molecule is more worthy or special than any other molecule; I will not believe that it is separate, in any substantial way, from all other molecules, that it can ever hope to be more conscious or more aware than other molecules. I must, in fact, operate according to the principle that what is good for one is good for all, and vice versa. (What IS one, IS all!) I must live to open my awareness to the consciousness that lives within each and all members of this ‘awareness game’ that we are all playing. I must live to be the whole and the part together.
This is what I want: To be everything and to be no thing, and to know both sides of that existential paradox intimately within my body and mind and soul, within the bodies, minds and souls of all people I ever shall meet.
Of course, all this adds up to just what you said you want—to grow, “…to stretch into more than who I think I am.” May it be so. May we be so.
Thank you for triggering this. I have a feeling there’s more to come. I look forward to your telling me of your explorations of wanting.
Letters From 500 