I’ve had some difficulty over the last few days with anxiety or restlessness or some energy malfunction. With Mercury in retrograde and a giant full moon in eclipse, there are many reasons I’ve conjured up to explain this discomfort. It was pretty intense and even to the point of a nerve explosion. Having an empathic nature doesn’t help the situation much and renders me pretty helpless whenever this kind of thing arises. I suck in energy, good and bad, like it’s going out of style. I know that there are exercises to clear my Auric field, but I was so down today that I was beyond thinking about using them. I just kind of wallowed in a sea of fear. I was going to use the word despair at first and then realized that it was fear that overcame me. This was all too overwhelming and I was at some kind of brink.
Then it happened. We are sitting at breakfast in a local Vermont eatery, in an out-of-the-way Vermont town. I started to sink deeper and deeper into this malaise. And then I overheard a woman at the next table telling a tale of woe to her friend. Even though they had been conversing the entire time it was at this exact moment in her story that crescendoed up to hearing level and caught my attention. Even though we are still talking it seemed that my voice lowered and this woman’s voice raised up. At once I felt an air of ease come over me, for suddenly my sad tale had the wind knocked out of its sail. I no longer felt that tragic element that chained me to fear and anxiety. It was gone in a heartbeat. All at once this feeling of gratitude embraced me. Like a thick liquid, it encircled my heart and ballooned outward. The usual tears started welling up and I realized that the universe has a remedy for everything. You just have to pay attention. Most of us don’t pay attention to small things, that come and go on the tip of a faerie’s wing. But there it was, in plain sight. A portal had opened and it appeared. One shining moment, and then gone. Makes you wonder doesn’t it? What else are we missing? It was a good breakfast.
Thanks, CosmicO, for sharing so frankly and openly what you were feeling. I heartily agree that noticing the small stuff is a powerful portal into freedom. As Orange first suggested: 1) Notice, 2) Do not Resist, and 3) Be Authentic. I, too, felt waves of fear sweep past this weekend. They were both inside me and around me in the ethers. The world is “storming”. We can’t help but feel it, and, from time to time, be caught up in it—viscerally.
O wrote in the first book of “Letters”: “As you notice fear, regard it as a doorway. Accept it as a portal into the Now. Then walk through.” (p. 109)
What I’ve found that helps, is first (as you did) just notice what the feeling is and what’s going on. Once I recognize what I’m feeling, I say to myself, “That’s FEAR!” It helps even to say it aloud. “I’m feeling fear about __(whatever)___.” This recognition in consciousness can stop my ‘normal’, unconscious resistance in its tracks. Then I am, at least, no longer adding inadvertent resistance to the feeling of fear. I can take the step to begin letting go of whatever the fear is.
Once I’m conscious of the process, I can proceed to step three, and bring in my “authenticity”. When I’m truly conscious, I feel the shift, just as you did when you heard the neighboring conversation at breakfast. That inner essence of authentic being can heal any outer discomfort or distress over time.
The outer world is illusion. All our ‘problems’ are transitory (no matter how real they seem). However, only when we enter the state of “authenticity” can we realize and manifest that awareness directly. For me, it usually takes a few minutes to make the change. I often even forget that I’ve intervened. However, I have also experienced that this can change everything instantly! Faith is entering the state of ‘no fear’.
Thanks Robert. These conversations we’ve had many times. No matter how many interventions conscious awareness makes into these transitory life-happenings our pain body loves to initiate blows, trying to save its existence. The veil is getting thinner and thinner for many of us, but still the images on the other side are a soft blur. The bumps in the road are showing up less often, though they are rockier. We will survive.