The following story was presented among friends on a private Facebook page that is dedicated to the lives and trials of ex-disciples of another, less than honest, Indian Master. We have gathered on this page for verification and support. Some of us were there at the beginning but left after 5 or 10 years. Others spent almost a lifetime on this path and have joined this Facebook group to regain their sanity.
Their stories are remarkable. Some are so chilling that one wonders what would make them stay under such mental and physical abuse. All in the name of God.
But stay we did until the forces of madness were broken and the road out was made clear.
This short story isn’t about the abuse that was suffered there but about finding the true guide within ourselves. There are no names attached to this story. I do not intend to shame anyone, his karma will take care of that, or maybe it won’t. Who knows. He’s no longer on this planet. He’s bound to incarnate back into a lesson to be learned. So be it.
The story is as follows. The reference to Mike is in answer to a question he posed:
Mike, I think the path to anyone’s personal realization or personal truth is absolutely one’s individuated process.
Nothing Guru tried to pass on to me has worked the magic I thought it would. Not that I haven’t practiced some of his exercises, like invoking Peace, Light, and Bliss while meditating. It was good. It made some impression, but my mind was the thing that related to it.
After eons of ?’s I finally came to terms with my seeking life. What I mean is, all my formative years, and even into my late forties, I always sought a mentor of sorts to guide me up the next mountain path in my life. After those who had mentored me had passed on, and I was left to my own devices, I shockingly discovered that the mentor I should have listened to was residing on the other side of my heart wall. It wasn’t a huge realization, it just slipped in, calmly and quietly, upon the scene. Once I recognized that the director of this experience was a sensation, I let it in and began to watch it. Within that watching, I discovered I was not just watching from my mind’s POV, but I was witnessing from a much higher level. One that seemed free of needs. Needs of the mind and the ego, separated, in a way, from the mind and ego. I had no judgments in this space, just a Witnessing. The more I recognized the Witness as my larger self the more fulfilling the relationship became with it. No external guru, no teachers, no mentors, just that personal sensation from my Witness.
Of course, this may just be the first steps, but I’ll take it. It’s far more gratifying than the time I spent in the center. I know this Witness sincerely loves me, unlike Guru, because it sends me a feeling, a caressing, an unconditional love that makes my knees shake, my heart cry, my tears flow, my forehead tingle and my body feel like it has dived into a pool of absolute freedom.
I know there are those on this site that don’t see it my way, and that’s fine. Like I said, it’s my experience. I don’t expect everyone to align with it. Those who do align with it understand where it’s coming from. I’m a romantic, a dreamer and a lover of those “Pathways Through to Space.”
So this is the ego named Stefan, the dreamer. This is the way I see things. And it is this way that I experience the opening of the Inner Space. That’s why I came to Guru. After my first encounters with him, when I became more comfortable in his presence, I saw him as an exemplary guide to the other domains. He was a beacon of ‘purity’ that I could emulate. I thought, to follow in this way I was on the right track for realization. I became a loyal soldier. In this loyalty, there could be no wrong. I could excuse the petty goings-on because that was only exhibited by the disciples. His reactions to these petty things were nothing more than a parent’s disapproval to the actions of his children. He had the upper hand because we didn’t know better. He was our guiding light and everything he brought was the genuine thing. Who knew? When did we start to see the cracks?
When we left the center Guru was still a god to us. And then the testimonials. WAKE UP CALL! The holy shit moment. But we didn’t suddenly go from believer to not. It was a long transition. Conversations with some friends who knew lots about it. More information pouring onto this forum. Wow, we took a long time baby.
Now what to do about those lifers who have been loyal to the bone. It’s doubtful they will sway from their belief in him. Actually, it might be too dangerous at this time in their life. Most of them don’t have safety nets. What will they do, where will they go? They need to know that the path they travel is still safe. The camp counselor may be discovered as a fraud but the camp is still a good place to be.
With all the guru upheaval going on now, all the pretenders to the yoga thrones, we are seeing the truth come out in extraordinary ways. People might be waking up to these false gods and taking charge of their awakening solely on their own. But even with that, those deeply loyal to Guru will say that he is the one true Avatar. In the long run, they will be just fine. Because that’s just the way life is.
Letters From 500 