“Somehow I don’t think I’m finished with my exploration of death,” I sigh. “Especially given that insight about resistance blocking my finding it.”
“I agree,” V sighs back.
“But moving on for now,” I allow. “Let me ask something about what you just brought up. Is ‘isness’ exactly the same as ‘what is’?”
“It is more than what you might normally consider to be ‘what is’. It is the Now, the deeper quality of the moment. To know your isness is to apprehend the essence of all creation—the ‘Great Isness’, shall we say? Who you are is a non-separate, non-detachable fragment of that. Your persona is an eye-slit in the mask of the Great Isness. The eyehole, of course, is what consciousness uses to peer through into your particular incarnation. Human beings identify so thoroughly with the ‘eyehole’ that they cannot see themselves as otherwise. Imagine, for instance, what a blow it would be for the ego to suddenly have no way of seeing. ‘No,’ says ego, ‘I am my eyes!’ And ego also says, ‘I am my mind!’ Imagine what a blow it would be to go mindless!”
I smile. “I’ve often wondered if I was going out of my mind. Is that the intention of your messages? Must we become mindless in order to understand the Life of Source?”
V explains seriously, “Yes and no. The mind has been a great boon to the advancement of your species. But it has now become more of a limiting factor in overall evolution; it blocks you from bridging your awareness into consciousness. The mind provides a home for the ego—a hiding place we might say. The most important single thing you can do as a human now is to move beyond thought and evolve out of ego. The mind still wants you to be its servant, but you must become the master. Evolution proceeds ever thus: Advances occur; they serve for a season; and then they need to be transcended. At this stage, what was once of great value becomes worthless; and more, a hindrance.”
I cringe. “I know. I’ve heard my favorite teachers say this over the years. But it’s not that easy. I seem to be possessed by my thoughts most of the time. I can see that freedom from the domination of constant thinking would be a wonderful state to be in, but how can we get there?”
“It may not seem so, but you are there already. You have heard this before, but repetition of teaching and practice is needed for you to move ahead. To realize what already exists, you only need to be present with your true self. That self is formless and timeless; it is always here and now. It is the Now! Let your attention ascend—and descend—into the spacious moment. Let your awareness accept presence as your foundation. Let it be within and around you. Accept yourself as this moment. Enter truly into the Now and you are simultaneously, immediately free from thought. Thought always brings you into the future and past. In presence, your are free from the domination of thought.”
“I can do that sometimes. But for me it is still a struggle. I feel like I’m forcing it if I try to make presence last, or try to hold onto the space of no thought.”
V waits a moment. “Don’t try to ‘make it last’. The presence lasts of its own volition and power. It needs nothing from you for this. It asks of you only to notice that it is there, here, eternally. Your exploration of death ‘before death finds you’ is just this: Finding death in this way is finding the presence and the Now within you—your true being. For you, and many like you, I will say that all you need is less trying to ‘make anything’ and more allowing ‘that which has never been made’; accept that it is continuously breathing up through you into the open air. Invite presence into your being. Notice when it is there and when it is not there. It is that simple. Inviting it is an active way of allowing. Noticing triggers acceptance.”
“So, when will I know I’m doing that? When will I be there?”
“You are there, my friend. Take a deep, deep breath and be as you desire this moment to be. Stop and let this happen. Imagine that you are the Now—from head to toe. Feel the pulsing vibration in your spine, your flesh and at each chakra center: Root, sacral, belly, heart, throat, forehead, and crown. Allow this feeling-vision into your presence, all along the length of your body, in its organs, tissues and cells.
“Accept that it is so, no matter what the mind may tell you. Close your eyes. Accept that you are becoming aware of your essential consciousness. You are in process of awakening. Nod your acceptance and smile. Do not deny it! Relax for a timeless moment in a state of non-denial and non-mentational dispute. If you do this simple exercise, your heart and understanding will open. And you will know if what I say is true.
“Thought will still be happening in your mind and emotions, but you are not that. You are the power center of your being. You are beyond you. Greater Self transcends little self. In your transcendence you may engage mind and thought—and even ego—at any moment, if that is what is needed. But you are no longer subservient to them. They are your tools of expression and action in the outer world. Take them as such. They are like your hands; use them when needed, but not otherwise. Always know this in your presence—that is, the universal presence that resides within and around and through each outer, manifested form.”
“Excuse me for pushing this further,” I interject. “But I’m sure others have the same concerns I have. It seems to me—from my experience in the world—that we need our minds to act as a control center, to process the events that surround us. It seems we would just be empty without having the mind to process it all.”
“Yes, so it seems to the mind. Remember, however, it is your mind that wants to argue for its own value; it is the ego that wants to argue for its existence. Presence does not argue. It simply is. It is the foundation; and as such, it enables the functioning of mind, ego, body and indeed the world altogether. The mind is a ‘control center’, as you say. It works to gather, analyze and distribute thoughts about the world—and about you. It handles all thoughts. That is all it does! It does not deal in reality. Reality is the domain of presence. If you would address the real Life of your being, it can only be done with and from presence.”
I sigh, “Yes, ‘real Life’. That’s what this message is all about, after all. I feel it while you are talking. I’m afraid that later I will sink back into the separated, little mind again.”
“You already have sunk there—as soon as you say the words, ‘I’m afraid’. But you do not have to stay there. You may choose to see the transparency of that fear. Look straight through it—straight and true, through! The simple noticing that you have let your awareness pull back from consciousness reverses the process and reconnects—instantly. Right now, for you and others, you are oscillating in and out of connection. Let that be as it is; it’s natural. The important part is that you now consistently return to connection. The more you do it, the more presence lives in you. This is a blessed state.”
Suddenly there is a wide-open spaciousness in front of me. I am looking through my concerns and fears, as V suggested; they appear as mere, empty wisps of smoke. Space itself splits open before my vision. My hands continue to type these words as the gulf of timelessness opens in grand splendor.
Stars and nebula hover on the periphery. I feel as though I’m rushing through outer space, between galaxies, into the Cosmos at large. At the same time it all seems to be receding. I am not thinking about it though. I am knowing it, streaming it. The receding I perceive is actually a shrinking down of all size. All the galaxies, the vast nebula forms and the Cosmos itself are coming down into one space before me. There are webs everywhere that are composed of billions of galaxies; each galaxy is but a shining dot in long, gauzy threads that are cast lazily across the firm darkness.
The Void. I sense it strongly. It holds this space eternally, entirely. And yet it is so much more. The Void is the real eternity and infinity, unspeakable and immeasurable. And yet it is completely within a point, dimensionless and simple. At that point I sense Source—so tiny, so humble, so all-powerful. I gasp and it is like the air rushing out of a balloon. I am that air, rushing back from my vision, through the eye-slits into my head and body and mind.
“Whew!” I pant, air filling my lungs again and again. “V, that was amazing. Did you do that?”
“No. You did! But I went along for the ride.”
“What’s the meaning of this? Why and how did I do that?”
She answers matter-of-factly, “Presence did that in you. You are presence. Remember? All that just happened was that you returned—for a truly deep moment—to the connection.”
“Well I’m in awe. Truly blessed. I guess that’s what you said: It set me off. I am so grateful for that vision, and that blissful feeling that came with it.”
She adds, “The blissful feeling always comes to you as you cross back from such a connection. Bliss is one of the blessings of presence; it is one of the aftereffects, if you will.”
“Why can’t I be in that state all the time?” As I say these words, I realize how silly I’m being.
V replies, “Of course you know why. You must be here, in this world this way for a time—for time and form. The presence is always there, here, everywhere. It revealed to you, just now, one of its forms. It will reveal others as you rise along the path.”
I can only say, “Thank you, V. Thank you, presence.”
“Presence is truth. Remember the truth wins out, always, in the end, because what is false cannot maintain itself without truth allowing it to exist. Truth is what truly is. It is the isness. Falseness is not! It does not exist and never has. The true side of the oscillation we were speaking of—that is, realization of transcendence—is the only side, ultimately. It is simply a matter of breaking through the illusion—gradually or suddenly. Keep oscillating into presence and you’re home free!”
ⓒ 2014 Robert Lee Potter
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Letters From 500 